I'm a bit baffled by the reviews of any of King's work that say something like "All his albums are the same kind of thing." Of course they are! But when an artist has such a fertile imagination as King Diamond does, I believe it's a bit silly to complain about what is essentially a consistency of artistic vision, rather than monotony. I mean, did people say about Edgar Allen Poe, "All his stories are so spooky--I'd just like a happy ending once in awhile"? God forbid! The thing is, when you listen to a King Diamond album, to a certain extent, you know roughly what you're going to get: some spooky shit, lots of different voices (all done by the same talented guy), and a shitload of musical creativity. Not to mention a band that knows how to fucking PLAY.
I recommend, if you've never done so, listen to this album on headphones while you drive through a dark countryside. I did that when I first listened to "Them," and it was great! I found myself checking the back seat every once in awhile, and I would be lying if I said I didn't get a cold chill up and down my spine. "Them" is, quite simply, classic King Diamond. You get the high, screaming vocals, alternating with the rough-edged lower vocals. You get the exceptionally creepy story line, and you get some brilliant, high-powered music to accompany the whole thing. Oh, and a Halloween-style tea party...a TEA PARTY, for the love of God! And that spooky-ass Grandma character. It's equal parts Poe, Hitchcock, and heavy metal mastery.
The great thing, too, that keeps King Diamond's quirkiness from becoming too cheesy, is the kind of headlong rush that happens in the music. Sure, you get creepy little interludes with keyboards, but when the band kicks in, and the riffing begins, the music does not let up. The rhythmic momentum keeps moving forward. This is not a band that noodles along. When these guys begin to play, things keep moving along at quite a clip. And the thing is, I never feel like I'm listening to prog rock, even though the music is quite complex. "Welcome Home" is a perfect example. We get that brilliant drum bit at the very beginning, and then BOOM! the song just takes off, and the horses keep racing, so to speak. King's voice is doing all sorts of crazy shit over the top of it. I would be interested to listen to the instrumental tracks without the vocals some day, just to hear what the band is doing a little more clearly. But, of course, the point is that it's the marriage of vocals and instrumentals that combines to realize the King Diamond vision so completely.
Since I speak so highly of everything on this album, you may wonder why I didn't just give this album a rating of 100. One tiny little problem: the actress who plays the part of the sister sucks...hard. King himself is really good at portraying himself and Grandma, but the sister sounds like an actress in a high school play. Or, at best, Marcia Brady. Okay, I'm not expecting a metal band to hire Meryl Streep to do a tiny little spoken part, but c'mon. They couldn't do better than that? Anyway, it's a minor blot on what is, to my taste, a spectacular concept album. Metal's dark storyteller has rarely exceeded this masterpiece.
Sample: https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
Official promo video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?...
